Is it possible to meet “the one” on a dating app? Well, just let you know before you get any deeper into reading this article…I don’t have the answer either! But I do have some online dating tips for women, and I want to share what I’ve learned…
If you know me, then you’ll also know I’m recently divorced…and now I’m trying dating apps again. It’s a little overwhelming and intimidating, signing up for all these sites. It’s sure different than any dating I’ve done before!!
I do kind of miss the days when, if you wanted to look for someone, you actually had to get off your bum, go to the bar or your local art class or be set up on a blind date…
So the idea of dating apps is always going to be just a little ridiculous to me.
Even though I’m on them now, because if you want to play the game right, then you have to keep up when the rules change!! 😉
But one unfortunate consequence of the game change is the increase in FOULS!
By which I mean, it’s likely you’ll meet a few men (or women) who are pretty foul! No, just kidding, that’s not what I mean. (Even though it kind of is.)
I mean, you’ll run into “players” of the online dating game who are only after one thing. I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about!!
So, what I’m going to talk about today and what I’m still figuring out for myself is, is there any way to weed out the bad? Or, any strategies for spotting the bad, before you waste too much time?
Well (even though I’ve just given online dating a hard time) when it comes to what you need to DO and what you need to WATCH OUT FOR, online dating is not that much different than the “old-fashioned” way.
So my online dating tips for women are the ones you always hear:
- Be confident
- Be yourself
- Be funny (but don’t try too hard to impress them either)
- Be truthful because if you lie they are going to find out
- Look good 😉
- Have realistic expectations and don’t pressure yourself to meet “the one” today
- Guard your heart.
These things are all doubly true when it comes to online dating!
But, I think because dating apps are so effortless and impersonal, there are a few online dating tips for women that only apply to the online world:
Tip #1: Don’t “accept” or start talking to every single man who messages you!
In real life, you wouldn’t be entertaining 5 to 10 options at once, would you? (Well, maybe you would, no judgment. 😉 )
But online, it’s so easy to be talking to several men or women because they’re THERE and it’s online and easy!! Our attitude surfing the web tends to be, “I’ll watch this YouTube video with cats falling off things. Now I’ll scroll through my Facebook feed. Now I’ll go congratulate my friend because I see she got a new job. Now I should wish this other friend a happy birthday…”
We get distracted, and also we can do a million things online at once. We become a social butterfly, never concentrating seriously on any one thing. But, with online dating, I really think you should slow down and keep things limited to a couple people at a time, even though hitting “yes” is as easy as a button click.
Tip #2: Be careful of the amount of creeps you’ll unfortunately likely encounter!!!
Now, don’t get me wrong…I know there are many in “real life” too. but online, since people are more anonymous they know there’s less of a consequence for their actions.
They think they can get away with saying lewd or rude things if it’s not to someone’s face!
Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s a way to avoid getting creepy messages in the first place on dating apps, unless you post a picture of a pet rock instead of yourself. But there are some warning signs, some online dating tips for women to avoid CREEPS:
- Be wary of someone who wants to meet up too soon, without even knowing you. Also be cautious of a man who continuously gives compliments and won’t let up…It’s nice at first, but it could also be a sign of what’s really on their mind…
(Would the Grinch be a creepy date??)
- BLOCK a guy who BRAGS all the time! Or loves to go into detail on all they’ve accomplished…especially if they use everything you say as a jumping off point to talk more about themselves.
“I enjoy yoga.”
“Oh, I once took an elective yoga class when I went to Harvard. I actually thought all the poses were really easy. I guess you could say I graduated top of my yoga class too!!!” The reason I classify this behavior in the creep category is because that type of person is just looking for a “warm body” to talk at!
Tip #3: Watch what happens when you tell them “no.”
People who don’t want to be told “no,” “not right now,” “I’m busy,” etc. do NOT respect you!
You learn the most about a person by getting their reaction when you disagree with them and aren’t always a Yes Man.
Tip #3: Trust Your Gut!
TRUST YOUR GUT!!! Your “belly barometer “ is telling you something! If “he” doesn’t feel right, he probably isn’t!
And “Yes, man!”
…is still not really my response if someone asks if it’s possible to meet “the one” with online dating.
But I’m going to keep on trying, because I feel like online dating is a skill you have to develop or a muscle you have to work over time…
The better I get at it, the better I am at separating the wheat from the chaff. Or the winners from the con men!